Redeeming my horrible yesterday (and a glimpse under the sheets!)

So I’m betting you’re wondering where I was yesterday, right? Oh, it didn’t even cross your mind? Well, I’m going to pretend that it did.

The morning started off bad, got worse, and then spit in my face at the end of the day. I keep telling myself that it’s only February, and even pirate queens get cranky this time of year. What more can I expect?

So to make myself feel better, I’m going to show you a glimpse of my under-the-sheets project. That I’ve been working on since September. And then give you an opportunity to get on the pre-launch daisychain so that you’ll be the first to know when I’m opening the doors (because that’s what the pre-launch daisychain is for, y’know? That and seeing more sneaky-peeks before it’s unveiled to the public).

Just a glimpse, okay? I haven’t even shown this to my dad, and that’s saying something.

gold-digging

Oh yes. And here’s the link to the daisychain (or you can click on the image itself). If you’re already subscribed for yummies, you’re not already on the daisychain. It’s a separate thing.

I feel better already.

How to change people’s minds about you (Step three: Hone in on your One Thing)

This is part four in a series on changing your online image. I’ll be alluding to the first, second, and third posts in the series, so you might want to go back and have a look if you haven’t read them already. Also, everyone who joins in on the discussion will get added to our marvelous Twitter list so we can keep up with each other. Onward!

With all of the essential and contrarian attributes you possess, your mind is probably spinning at this point. Geez, what am I anyway? And how can I possibly convey that in any sort of consistent branding effort? It’s easy to get overwhelmed and toss up your hands in defeat.

Take a breath…all you need is some self-distillation

Self-distillation: A word I just made up The art of combining all that’s wild and wonderful about you into a meaningful One Thing.

Your One Thing is what is going to assert your brand effectively to the world. It’s your measuring stick of your juice-to-water ratio (are you sending out a watered-down message, or is your brand-juice pure and undiluted?).

How to use your One Thing measuring stick

Getting ready to publish an article? If it doesn’t jive with the One Thing, don’t press “Publish”. Tweeting about your day? If you can’t see your One Thing in it, don’t tweet it. Or rather than not publishing and not tweeting (never a strategic move), change your article, change your tweet. Align it with your One Thing.

Same thing goes for projects that you accept, collaborations you embark on, relationships that you hitch your ride to (not that they must be the same, but be mindful of who you spend your time with). This is not a new rule that you must follow in order to be “of the moment”. But if you’re having a branding problem…if you can’t seem to communicate “you” to the world, you’re probably sending out a diluted message. If you want a brand that your audience can recognize a mile away, whip out your One Thing measuring stick.

Distilling your essence into your One Thing

I haven’t created a step-by-step process for finding your One Thing (it’s usually more of an individual, can’t-be-replicated quest), but here are three things I’ve grasped about them:

  • They include some measure of visual recognition. Stark. Flouncy. Colorful. Sexy. A feast for the eyes.
  • There’s a voice behind the curtain. Formal. Sweet. Funny. Down-to-earth. The lingo’s important and apparent.
  • They’re in pursuit of some level of world-change. Feed the hungry. Empower the weak. Release the prisoners. The end-goal is powerful.

Cue your visuals. Amplify your voice. Announce your mission.

Your homework: Take all of your research and lists and practice distilling yourself in these three areas. Notice I said practice. This is not a one-time-only, you-must-do-it-right sort of thing. This is a seeking, getting-closer-to-the-goal sort of thing.

Next Tuesday, we’re going to be looking more deeply into your branding assets — your tagline, your business cards, your website…all of it. A practice in objectivity. Bring fresh eyeballs!

How to change people’s minds about you (Step two: Contemplate your fullness)

This is part three in a series on changing your online image. I’ll be alluding to the first and second posts in the series, so you might want to go back and have a look if you haven’t read them already. Also, everyone who joins in on the discussion will get added to our marvelous Twitter list so we can keep up with each other. Onward!

Since Thursday, I’ve learned some quite astonishing things about myself. First, I should totally have a country accent. What a disappointment that I do not! After living in Nashville for six years and various parts of Virginia for the rest of my life (including places barely on the map), the entirety of my Southern accent potential stayed firmly grounded with my parents. My friends say I was meant for NYC, and I agree with them (though an idyllic pastoral setting also has its swoon points).

Also, I’ve been rumored to be taller than I actually am. I would have liked to perpetuate that misconception, but at 5′1″, I’ve been known as “the short one” all my life. I can’t pretend to be taller, even on the internet.

There are other, more relevant things that I’ve discovered people think about me and my work. I’m still pondering them…stewing them around in my brain. Some could be good (that I’ve got an audience of thousands!) and others not-so-good (that I’m not spiritual…which to me is like saying that I regularly cheat on my lover).

It’s not that these perceptions in themselves are so important. The point, after all, isn’t to change yourself so that people will like you. The point is to gauge how accurately you are voicing your truths. If people think that you’re a snarky big-mouth when you’re actually a peace-loving Zen practitioner, then perhaps you need to adjust some things.

For most of us, we don’t have an issue with coming across as something completely different that what we are. We struggle with stepping out in the fullness of ourselves. We’re subconsciously only pouring one-third of our juice in the glass and diluting the rest with water so that it’s not too sweet/sticky/powerful for everyone else.

Even though I feel like I’ve “found my voice”, I still struggle with this. For instance, I published something last night that is giving me queasy stomach flops today. At 3am, it seemed perfectly natural to share my self-doubts with the world. (Go transparency!) At 10am, I was feeling less certain. At 11am, I nearly deleted it.

So here’s my homework (and yours too, if you dig it)

Pull out your “things that describe the real you” list to prime the pump (does anyone say that anymore? Just us Virginians?).

  • If you could be anyone on the internet, who would you be? (It doesn’t have to be a person, though it can be. What qualities would you amplify? What values would you possess?)
  • How do you see your online self now, and how does it differ from the “ideal you”? (And when I say “ideal”, I mean you on your very best, most inspired day.)
  • What might the ideal you look like, fully realized? (What kinds of things would you create? What would you do to change the world? Fantasize…think both practical and intangible.)
  • What are your reasons/excuses/justifications for not stepping more fully into your ideal self?

On Thursday, we’re going to look deeper into your ideal, epitomized self, so come prepared for some comfort-zone shifting!

How to change people’s minds about you (Step one: Get a helmet)

This is part two in a series on changing your online image. Read the first post here (you’ll need it for your homework). Also, everyone who joins in on the discussion will get added to our marvelous Twitter list so we can keep up with each other. Onward!

On Tuesday, I asked you guys to come armed with paper and pencil in hand. Today, we’re going to take that first what-people-think-about-you list and squeeze it until it bleeds. (Uggh. I think I like my food analogies better.) Seriously though, you’ll need a helmet for this. If you didn’t make a list, hurry up and make one now. We’ll wait.

The easy part

You should have in-hand a list of five to ten qualities/attributes/things that you think people think about you. They can be good, bad, or ferocious. Now, for each of those ten things, I want you to answer one question — why do you think that people have that opinion of you?

Let’s start with me.

  • I’m giddy all the time. People think this because I have the name “Joy” in my company name. I posted a slightly ranty Twitter post one time and completely blew someone’s mind. In a bad way. They were expecting joy and got my sarcasmic wit instead. Maybe I should re-name it to S.Sarcasm Studios?
  • I just make websites. I don’t think my branding and consulting stuff is prominent enough. When people finally find it, it’s like a candy surprise.
  • I’m inconsistently present. Maybe people don’t notice this, but I go for entire weeks of being internet-absent (besides the blog and my email box). I’m so focused on actually producing stuff that I don’t spend enough time connecting. And then I feel left out and cry in my soup.
  • I’m not a mom. Countless people have told me how surprised they were when they found out that I have two kids, ages 3 and 4. I have a hard time blogging and tweeting about everyday personal stuff. I think it’s because I limit my use of technology to when I’m working.
  • I’m nice. This is probably because I actually am nice. Not always a good thing. Like when your dentist pulls the wrong wisdom tooth and you try to make him feel better about it. While you’re crying because he forgot the pain medication. And then you try to make him feel better about that.
  • I specialize in blog design. This is probably because I run a blog-driven site, and the LiteSites are blog-driven. But I actually specialize in content-driven websites. Sites that publish new content on a regular basis. Sites that tell stories and attract droves of adoring fans.

You might want to get your helmet on now

The best way to find out what people really think about you is to ask them. Which kind of sucks, because you’ve got to get all vulnerable. If you’re lucky, you know two to three good people who will give it to you straight. And maybe you can give it to them straight in return.

Your mission: Email these two or three people and ask them to come up with ten words that describe you and your business. Give them one rule: Be kind and be straight. (The straightness is what the helmet is for.)

See you Tuesday!

How to change people’s minds about you

In business, it’s good to care what people think about you. Even if they’re thinking, “Wow, she doesn’t give a crap about what people think about her!”, you care that they’re thinking that. The beauty happens when what people think about you lines up with the awesomeness that you actually stand for. And by beauty, I mean a bigger, happier, audience who wants to shout your name to the heavens. You and your clients riding off into the sunset. More cash to free your life up. You know. Beauty.

A mini-step before we get started

Before we dive into step one on Thursday (Tuesday/Thursday posts are back! Jello pudding all around!), I need you to come prepared. Humor my teacher-side for a second and grab a pencil and some paper. Write down ten words to describe the way people feel about you right now. Or rather, how you think they feel about you. Use your intuition. Here are some examples:

  • A dedicated father/mother
  • Snarky
  • Really, really affordable (read: cheap!)
  • Invisible
  • Stylish
  • Business-like
  • Self-promote-y
  • Unreachable
  • Uber confident
  • Happy!

Now, make a second list of ten words that describe the real you. The way people who totally get you would describe you. The way you would describe yourself when your flame is burning brightest. Some examples:

  • Funny
  • Book-lover
  • Super high quality
  • Well-respected in whatever field you’re in
  • Always has new ideas
  • Always knows where to go/who to talk to
  • Genuine
  • Everything you do is amazing
  • Smart
  • Trend-starter

Now look at your two lists. Are they the same? If not (even if they’re just a little bit off), I’m writing this series for you. And I’m writing it for me, too.

What it means to be yourself on the web

When people tell you to be yourself on the web, they usually mean that you shouldn’t talk like a robot. That you should acknowledge and embrace the fact that you’re a real person or that your team is made up of real people. Other than that, all’s fair, baby. As Sparky commented last week:

Do your thing. You’re a rock star. You’re ninjariffic. It’s a game! You’re JanisJoplinTreCoolGwenStafaniAnthonyKeidis all rolled into one huge rock idol.

(Sparky. Is. Awesome.)

Saying that there’s one particular way to be yourself is like saying there’s one way to freestyle — it just doesn’t make any sense. Still, there is a way to cut the confusion out of all of this.

Ambiguity, be gone!

Over the next month, we’re going to talk about how to change people’s minds about you. Even if you’ve got a bunch of raving fans, it’s good to go through this process once a year or so to re-align yourself with your audience.

Ready? Come armed with your lists and your thinking caps (again with the teacher-mode!) on Thursday.