This is part four in a series on changing your online image. I’ll be alluding to the first, second, and third posts in the series, so you might want to go back and have a look if you haven’t read them already. Also, everyone who joins in on the discussion will get added to our marvelous Twitter list so we can keep up with each other. Onward!

With all of the essential and contrarian attributes you possess, your mind is probably spinning at this point. Geez, what am I anyway? And how can I possibly convey that in any sort of consistent branding effort? It’s easy to get overwhelmed and toss up your hands in defeat.

Take a breath…all you need is some self-distillation

Self-distillation: A word I just made up The art of combining all that’s wild and wonderful about you into a meaningful One Thing.

Your One Thing is what is going to assert your brand effectively to the world. It’s your measuring stick of your juice-to-water ratio (are you sending out a watered-down message, or is your brand-juice pure and undiluted?).

How to use your One Thing measuring stick

Getting ready to publish an article? If it doesn’t jive with the One Thing, don’t press “Publish”. Tweeting about your day? If you can’t see your One Thing in it, don’t tweet it. Or rather than not publishing and not tweeting (never a strategic move), change your article, change your tweet. Align it with your One Thing.

Same thing goes for projects that you accept, collaborations you embark on, relationships that you hitch your ride to (not that they must be the same, but be mindful of who you spend your time with). This is not a new rule that you must follow in order to be “of the moment”. But if you’re having a branding problem…if you can’t seem to communicate “you” to the world, you’re probably sending out a diluted message. If you want a brand that your audience can recognize a mile away, whip out your One Thing measuring stick.

Distilling your essence into your One Thing

I haven’t created a step-by-step process for finding your One Thing (it’s usually more of an individual, can’t-be-replicated quest), but here are three things I’ve grasped about them:

• They include some measure of visual recognition. Stark. Flouncy. Colorful. Sexy. A feast for the eyes.
• There’s a voice behind the curtain. Formal. Sweet. Funny. Down-to-earth. The lingo’s important and apparent.
• They’re in pursuit of some level of world-change. Feed the hungry. Empower the weak. Release the prisoners. The end-goal is powerful.

Cue your visuals. Amplify your voice. Announce your mission.

Your homework: Take all of your research and lists and practice distilling yourself in these three areas. Notice I said practice. This is not a one-time-only, you-must-do-it-right sort of thing. This is a seeking, getting-closer-to-the-goal sort of thing.

Next Tuesday, we’re going to be looking more deeply into your branding assets — your tagline, your business cards, your website…all of it. A practice in objectivity. Bring fresh eyeballs!

This is part three in a series on changing your online image. I’ll be alluding to the first and second posts in the series, so you might want to go back and have a look if you haven’t read them already. Also, everyone who joins in on the discussion will get added to our marvelous Twitter list so we can keep up with each other. Onward!

Since Thursday, I’ve learned some quite astonishing things about myself. First, I should totally have a country accent. What a disappointment that I do not! After living in Nashville for six years and various parts of Virginia for the rest of my life (including places barely on the map), the entirety of my Southern accent potential stayed firmly grounded with my parents. My friends say I was meant for NYC, and I agree with them (though an idyllic pastoral setting also has its swoon points).

Also, I’ve been rumored to be taller than I actually am. I would have liked to perpetuate that misconception, but at 5′1″, I’ve been known as “the short one” all my life. I can’t pretend to be taller, even on the internet.

There are other, more relevant things that I’ve discovered people think about me and my work. I’m still pondering them…stewing them around in my brain. Some could be good (that I’ve got an audience of thousands!) and others not-so-good (that I’m not spiritual…which to me is like saying that I regularly cheat on my lover).

It’s not that these perceptions in themselves are so important. The point, after all, isn’t to change yourself so that people will like you. The point is to gauge how accurately you are voicing your truths. If people think that you’re a snarky big-mouth when you’re actually a peace-loving Zen practitioner, then perhaps you need to adjust some things.

For most of us, we don’t have an issue with coming across as something completely different that what we are. We struggle with stepping out in the fullness of ourselves. We’re subconsciously only pouring one-third of our juice in the glass and diluting the rest with water so that it’s not too sweet/sticky/powerful for everyone else.

Even though I feel like I’ve “found my voice”, I still struggle with this. For instance, I published something last night that is giving me queasy stomach flops today. At 3am, it seemed perfectly natural to share my self-doubts with the world. (Go transparency!) At 10am, I was feeling less certain. At 11am, I nearly deleted it.

So here’s my homework (and yours too, if you dig it)

Pull out your “things that describe the real you” list to prime the pump (does anyone say that anymore? Just us Virginians?).

• If you could be anyone on the internet, who would you be? (It doesn’t have to be a person, though it can be. What qualities would you amplify? What values would you possess?)
• How do you see your online self now, and how does it differ from the “ideal you”? (And when I say “ideal”, I mean you on your very best, most inspired day.)
• What might the ideal you look like, fully realized? (What kinds of things would you create? What would you do to change the world? Fantasize…think both practical and intangible.)
• What are your reasons/excuses/justifications for not stepping more fully into your ideal self?

On Thursday, we’re going to look deeper into your ideal, epitomized self, so come prepared for some comfort-zone shifting!

I’m back! (Notice how I take off on vacation without warning anyone? Yay!) Still on the road, but I’m down from my turkey high at least. Let’s test that theory. I’m just going to jump right in today.

What are you writing about? Most of us write about what we know. If you knit, you write about knitting. If you paint, you write about painting. Makes sense. Except, not really.

If your blog isn’t bringing you more and better business, maybe you’re writing about the wrong thing.

Hello, Captain Obvious! Actually, let’s pretend I am Captain Obvious, and I run a spaceship-making company. I know all about making spaceships, so I blog about everything I know. It attracts people from far and wide. Everyone who has ever wanted to learn about making spaceships is visiting my website. Hooray!

But wait a second. Nobody’s buying anything. Why is that? Oh, I know! Because they aren’t spaceship-buying people. They’re spaceship-making people. Drats. Foiled again.

Give the people what they want

We do this weird chanting thing in my house whenever we’re getting impatient and want something now. Like during dinner or something. We’ll start banging our forks and knives on the table while rhythmically chanting “Give the people what they want; give the people what they want.” It’s sort of weird, and I blame my friend Curtis, but it makes us laugh so we keep doing it.

So what do the people want?

They want completely different things. Not to say that writing for one won’t influence the other in some way, but you’re going to get tremendously better results if you gear your content to the people who ultimately buy your stuff. Kapeesh?

Now that I’ve got that out of my system…price increases! Brought to you by my new-fangled time tracker of kung foo delight (made that up), I’ve discovered some really interesting things about time. For one, everything takes twice as long as I thought. For two, it’s time to adjust for that. But I won’t be increasing until the new year, so don’t worry your fuzzy stockings about it just yet.

So, are you writing for the people that you serve? Or are you writing for someone else…your colleagues, yourself, or your Uncle Pete? How’s it working for you?

I love my blogs. Maybe it’s because for a while there, I didn’t have time to read any of them. Twitter was my sole method of online information-getting. But now that I’m immersing myself back into my favorite blogs, I feel more connected. I’m appreciating the immense amount of thought that goes into every post. I feel like the information they contain has become more valuable now that we have 140-character tweets in the mix.

There has been a lot of criticism about blogging and online information-sharing. People say we just echo each others’ thoughts — that we have no real thoughts of our own. We are just living in an echo-chamber. I don’t agree. Or rather, I sort of agree, and I like living in the echo-chamber.

Repetition changes the world

I read books all the time that change my life. For about a week. Then they sort of slip away from memory, a new book comes along, and I’m changed all over again. It’s great. I get to feel like I’ve changed without really doing it.

The internet is different. I get to read different takes on a topic, and it DOES sink in. It becomes a part of my ever-increasing knowledge of the online world and how it is evolving. I don’t have to worry about re-reading an article over a period of months so that I don’t lose it. I can rest in the fact that the information I’m taking in is slowly and continually shaping and changing me…for the better. It puts my information growth curve on a sort of auto-pilot.

More than likely, this article will show up elsewhere in a different form and with a different viewpoint, so I don’t have to even bookmark it or pretend that I’ll come back to it later (I never will). I just trust that the concepts are sinking in, and I choose my information intake wisely.

Repetition as a branding tool

The problem business owners have with a content-driven website is that they have to continually create new content. They are afraid they’ll run out of stuff to say. I’ve dealt with this too. Writing to website owners about their websites seems like a pretty limited (and boring) topic. But…I have a dream. (You can start the background gospel music now.)

I dream of regular Joes having the information and tools they need to maintain websites that are exciting to their audiences. No more boring, stuffy websites. No more websites that scream “I don’t care about you! Let’s talk about me!” No more websites with 14 visits a month…that all end up being from you.

This is going to take some major immersion, right? Some soaking into new information that will change the way you look at your website and how it works. I love what Mark said in a comment a few weeks ago.

“People come to new knowledge much more slowly than we like to admit…For most people, if they really wanted [the information], it lit a spark somewhere, and it’s just taking awhile for the fire to catch. And that’s okay. No one here is any rush.”
Mark Silver

We are the coal that won’t light on the first try. And you, the writer, have a fire that becomes your branding. Your core message that you’re trying to get across. Without repetition, that message would be unclear. You’d be covering anything and everything, but the real point of your dream won’t come across.

So don’t be afraid to repeat stuff. Repeat the things that are the core of your message. Repeat it in different ways, in different formats. Repeat it in the verbal, the audial, and the visual. It becomes your story, your brand.

Tuesday, I shared with you the qualms one of my clients has about “being personal online.” In case you’re too lazy to click over to the original post, here it was:

I’m an introvert. The people I work with are introverts. I don’t feel comfortable putting personal stuff online. I don’t know how to “have personality” on the internet without being unprofessional. I’m just not sure this is going to work.

My stance: Find a way. Even big business is getting the idea that trust works better than no-trust. Just watch all of the pathetic attempts at humor that plague tv advertising. They’re trying to get on our level…be one of us.

Our advantage? We are one of us. We don’t have to go all cheeseball or fake-funny to build trust. We just have to be ourselves.

Your stance (because you’re so stinking brilliant)

David mentioned that you’ve got to expand your comfort zone over time (which is completely true…you really can’t rush change), but that change is necessary. (His whole perspective here.) But what I really liked (which Felix pointed out) was this:

Being authentic in a public way is, for me, at the heart of being an entrepreneur. If you can’t be yourself when you’re pouring your soul into your work, maybe ownership isn’t for you.
David Mann

That is so true. I read The E-Myth a little while ago (really excellent for entrepreneurs on the edge of burnout), and it reminded me that some people aren’t entrepreneurs…they’re managers. Some people are neither…they’re technicians. But you’ve got to have that entrepreneur fever somewhere, even if you have to bring someone onto your boat who can take that over for you.

Maybe being an introvert isn’t the problem

If introvert means being shy around new people, hating the phone, needing at least an hour by themselves every day…that is me. Online, I am completely, 100%, no-holds-barred ME. In business, I’m the same way. Not only because I’m passionate and confident about what I do. It’s also because I’ve found my voice. And finding your voice is actually much easier online than in person. Like Jeff said (his whole perspective here):

So if the introvert wishes to move into higher levels of relationship with prospective customers, it’s not the terrifying handshake, introduction, or phone call. There’s an online paving that makes it simpler.
Jeff Timpanaro

Online paving. Exactly. And like Christy said (her whole response here):

Having an online presence for an introvert is MUCH easier than doing the painful face to face networking.
Christy Schell

So maybe this isn’t a question of being introverted or extroverted. Maybe it’s a question of learning to find your natural writing voice, or finding someone who has “it” to be the voice of your company. Unless your company is you…in that case, there’s no way around it.

Except maybe there is.

The lovely Heather Allard brought up a truly unique approach (her whole stance here).

Use your introversion as a selling point–market yourself as the creative introvert trying to show the world her product without revealing too much of herself. Private creator in a public world. Something like that.
Heather Allard

If you’re determined to be the voice of your company, then work your introverted-ness. There are all sorts of crazy, weird, witty, sarcastic people out there, but a severe lack of openly introverted types. Of course there’s a reason for that (uh yeah…because they’re shy), but if you can overcome it and just be honest about your shy-ness, then go for it.

But what about the freaks and crazies?

When you’re offering something to the public, you become public. That doesn’t mean that you share all of your kid’s potty stories or tweet about the intricacies of your life. You’re still a professional. You’re still an expert in your field. And you have boundaries. Take Danielle LaPorte, for instance. Real? Yes. Personal? Yes. Do you know anything about her family and her personal situation by reading her blog? No, not at all.

Some people do share more of their life as part of their brand, and it works for them. It’s just not necessary. Like Lidy says (her whole response here):

I don’t post photos of my family, or tell all, not on my blog either! Because it is open, and the internet makes it possible for anyone, friend or foe, to find you.
Lidy Baars

I’m not usually scared of that type of thing, but I’ll admit to wanting to wipe out all record of my existence after reading some scary book or something. I’m pretty sure it’s too late for that, but hey. If you accomplish anything worth mentioning in your life, you’re going to deal with being in the public eye. I’ve acclimated myself to that.

But if you’re concerned, there are precautions you can take (registering your domain name privately, using a P.O. Box, using a phone number that’s not a landline in your house). It’s not fool-proof, but it might make you feel a little better.

Wrapping this up like candy

1. Using your company’s small-ness to your advantage means building trust in a way that Big Business only dreams of.
2. Building trust requires being real. Being un-corporate. We don’t trust corporate.
3. If you’re coming across as stodgy (but not on purpose), work on finding your writing voice.
4. If you’re just not finding that voice, hire someone who is good at this stuff to be the voice of your company — unless your company is you.
5. Introverted people might be able to use their shyness as a jumping off point in finding their voice. But don’t confuse introverted-ness with a lack of confidence in your professional competence. You must be confident in your value, or you’ll have a hard time coming across as “worth it”.
6. Don’t let the creepy people scare you. Being personal doesn’t have to mean sharing all of your private information.

I couldn’t fit all of the insight you guys had in this space, but if you want more, check out the comments.

A couple of days ago, I was talking to an entrepreneur client who has the coolest product ever. A product everyone needs and wants if only they knew about it. This gal is smart. She’s got a high style website, incredible photography, all of it. But she’s having trouble with the untraditional, “be real” approach. We were on the phone so these aren’t her exact words, but it went something like this:

I’m an introvert. The people I work with are introverts. I don’t feel comfortable putting personal stuff online. I don’t know how to “have personality” on the internet without being unprofessional. I’m just not sure this is going to work.

I’m not going to tell you my answer — yet. I want to hear yours. What would you tell someone who’s squeamish about:

1. Being real and personal with people she doesn’t know.
2. Putting information online that might make her or her family vulnerable to weirdos.
3. Not knowing how to show personality online without coming off as unprofessional (and making the high-end product look lower quality).

Anyone? (Note: This isn’t a trick question. There are no right/wrong answers. I just doubt that I have the end-all of insight into this particular problem.)

A couple of weeks ago, I attempted to reverse-engineer Havi Brooks’ blog to see how she built such an incredible community in about a year. And she responded with some really eye-opening stuff that answered a lot of my questions.

I have a feeling I’m going to look back on that post later as a Moment When Everything Changed. (I have a couple of those moments actually, but I’ll save that for later.)

My idea of “being real” — it grew. My willingness to dig into some of the actual stuff that me and everybody else with a website struggles with — that grew, too. cj Madigan and I were talking today about this very thing. This writing about things that everybody thinks but nobody says. My homegirl Danielle LaPorte would call it truth. I call it scary.

Egads…I wrote that?!

After that post, I made a commitment to write about what’s really going on. Not just about theory or “best practices”, but about the real ins-and-outs and ups-and-downs of having an online enterprise. And to do that…guess what? I have to write about what I know. Me. My business. My struggles and victories. I have to admit to the universe that I don’t know everything. Surprise! (I bet you had no clue.)

So I’m being more vulnerable, more open. I’m saying what I really think about what’s going on right now. I’m launching out of my current experience instead of the usual “Once upon a time, I used to struggle with fill in the blank. But now, I’m really quite perfect. And I’m here to help you.”

The not-so-good part (You know. In case you wanted to try the same thing.)

I’ll just warn you — in the past couple of weeks, I have squirmed around in my chair, just waiting for someone to point out all of my flaws. I know. Not much faith in humanity and all. But I can certainly see them, and now everyone else can, too.

For example, I still can’t believe I actually wrote about an instrument that would show invisible horns on potential clients who are social media-hopeless. Crap! What kind of awful person am I? Just because some people have a vastly long learning curve doesn’t mean that they’re the devil! (But you know that’s not what I meant, right?) And after I push “Publish” on this post, I’ll probably writhe in anguish until somebody reassures me that they’re not going to abandon me for lost.

The so-good-it-completely-outweighs-everything-else part

This week, I got to help somebody start to break away from their soul-sucking job. I got to reassure them that yes, this online thing really can be done. You don’t have to be internet-famous to have a really, really successful online business doing what sets you on fire. Heck, you don’t even have to be good at getting comments (though Mark over at Heart of Business has really great advice for that.)

I got to connect with super bright, super talented people. I’ve had opportunities to take on new projects and collaborate with people I admire and respect. I got to hear one of my clients tell me that I’m their secret weapon. (Yeah…that was the best thing right there.)

I swear, this correlation between risk and reward is SO powerful. Small risk, small reward. Big risk, big reward. It certainly makes you wonder if the “safe” path needs to be re-named.

Update: Hooray! No more wondering. Havi spills about her “overnight” success.

The original title of this post was “be community-minded” instead of “rebuild your ghost town.” And while putting together a list of all of these things that “supposedly” work to build community, I kept feeling that twinge of Well, yes…these things are supposed to work. But actually, they haven’t worked for me. I suck at “building community”…whatever that means. So I’m totally faking this. And if anything, I’m no faker. So I just stopped writing.

Defining “community”

Erck…community. Call it a tribe, call it whatever you want, but it quickly becomes a tired social media cliche. I get bored instantly when I see the word. But what it represents…ahh…it’s pretty much the holy grail of everything online and in business. True community is a euphoric state of being that barely anyone attains, and once they do attain it, it often becomes so much to MAINtain that they trade it for crowd-surfing.

Defining what a community looks like is a bit trickier. For me, it would be interaction at every level. Giving and receiving, learning and teaching, joining forces to create positive change. It’s actively listening and responding and sharing and growing.

Not getting it yet? Okay then…it’s comments, baby.

Yeah. Comments. I said it. It feels good to be heard. But beyond that bit of narcissism, it provides a level of credibility that beats every other form — proof that your work is changing people’s lives. Plain and simple, it’s good for business. And it’s something that just can’t be bought.

When what we’ve been told isn’t cutting it

Writing your BEST content, selling your soul on facebook, tweeting your pants off. Asking questions, being different, showing that you’re successful. We’ve heard it all, right? And we’re doing it. Our numbers are great. We’re barraged with emails asking for favors. People look up to us and seek our advice and hire us because yeah…we do awesome work. But our communities are still struggling. And that’s downright embarrassing.

But it takes time! Consistency! Tireless self-promotion!

Errmm…no. It actually doesn’t. Havi Brooks is one of my favorite examples. She’s been writing her amazing blog for what…a year? And she’s so not a social media whore. And you know what? I have no idea how she does it.

Honestly, I have a feeling it just…sort of happened while she was being her awesome self. Sure, she’s strategic about a lot of things. Just like we all are. And maybe she does have a secret ninja formula. I have no idea, and I won’t try to niggle her or the already-struggling Stu into sharing it with me when I should really just niggle my way to her kitchen table if it ever becomes open again.

A not-really-a-case-study case study

Since tried-and-true “techniques” for building community often end up being a huge failure, I’m going to do what I do best: analyze. I’m going to look over Havi’s blog for the past year and try to see patterns. I have no idea how it’s going to turn out. Maybe I’ll be just as bewildered as I am now. And dear Lord, I hope Havi doesn’t shoot me for going back so far in her archives and…umm…studying it (I shudder to think of what I wrote a year ago). But here we go.

• May 9th, 2007: Havi writes an intelligent, useful post about the number one thing that keeps people from changing. She introduces a technique of the month. She mentions Philip Marlowe, and she’s so smart. I don’t quite understand what she’s saying, but she’s so, so smart. No comments yet. (So clearly, she started from scratch.) But wait…this was two years ago! Must have been an old post from an old (not successful?) blog. I’m pretty sure her current blog has only been active for a year.
• July 17, 2007: First comment! Of course, it was written like a year and a half later, so it doesn’t really count. Up until now, Havi’s been writing long, amazingly intelligent posts, still which I don’t understand all too well (but hey…I just heard about mindfulness for the first time last week so be patient with me). It looks like Havi has a lot of really practical, “do this now” type stuff. Hey…that’s what I do, too! But still…the comments are written in December 2008 — nearly a year and a half later. If she did have comments on these posts, and if it was on an old blog, she obviously didn’t carry them over. The posts are written sort of sporadically…sometimes several in a week. Sometimes skipping weeks. (Hey, that sounds familiar, too.)
• November 1, 2007: I’m starting to get the feeling that these articles weren’t on an old blog — they were in a newsletter. So of course there are no comments. Maybe I should just skip forward to the end of 2008…that seems to be when all the comments started coming. But I don’t even want to skip — Havi wrote some amazing stuff in these early posts. A different style than she has now, but extremely, incredibly useful and enlightening. (Maybe “useful” isn’t the magic potion that we thought it was?)
• June 16, 2008: Havi has a blog! And comments! Fully 8 comments from people who apparently got her newsletter before and adored her. The rest were written a little later. And you know what? She actually made it a point in the post to reveal that she had no comments. And then she invited the comments. And then they came. Weird.
• June 17, 2008: Wow…Naomi and Havi go way back. And Havi dropped the bullet points and wrote a really long post (which “experts” say not to do), and she has several comments from real people. I totally recognize her voice now. It’s like as soon as she dropped the newsletter and became “blog”, there she was. All real and wonderful.
• June 19, 2008: Havi already has a Twitter stalker burglar! Man, maybe this wasn’t a normal blog launch. That must have been some newsletter.
• July 2, 2008 – Nathan Bowers welcomes Havi to being internet famous. Okay, really now. She’s not normal. She’s had the blog for what…two weeks? And here’s me thinking that nobody can be successful without a blog. And then she starts one after she was already pretty darn successful. Getting a decent 4 to 8 comments a post at this point. But they’re not just random comments. They are real, I-want-to-be-on-any-team-you’re-on comments. They are well-thought out. They expand the conversation.
• July 16, 2008 – Men With Pens gave Havi some really good website advice. Like making it easier for people to comment by making the “Leave a Comment” link clearer. Interesting. Wonder if it will make a difference. Also, Havi mentions that she hates it when people ask for comments. So she doesn’t ask for them. I like that.
• July 23, 2008 – Havi is still working on her blog. The folks at Men With Pens advised her to change some of her wording. So she asks for help. And guess what? 32 comments. (Don’t you hate it when you ask for something and you get cricket chirps?) Thing I’ve noticed: asking for help is different from asking for comments. Could it be a clue?
• August 8, 2008: The Friday Check-In is born. Except it’s called the Friday Round-up. Man, I would love to do this, but I’m afraid it would suck. And one thing I promised myself was to never fill up inboxes or feed readers with things that suck. Not even because I don’t want to suck. But because wouldn’t it be a much more awesome place if all of the blogs we subscribed to only posted stuff that was worth reading?
• November 4, 2008: Remembering how much I loved the blogging therapy series. Oh wait…this one’s about perfectionism. And I just wrote how I wanted everything I write to be awesome and not suck. I didn’t plan this, really. Another clue? Also, in the last couple of months, Havi’s consistently had 10-20 comments or more on nearly every post.
• February 9, 2009: At this point when every post has 20-30 comments, I’m thinking…
  

  “Well, Havi writes about life and things that everybody deals with. It’s easy to comment on that. I write about websites. Which is good, but only invites the ‘Thanks for the tip’ kind of comment. Not that I don’t like those comments…I do. But it’s not conversation. I guess I’m just screwed.”

  But I don’t really like making excuses, and I know there’s something that I’m missing here.

• May 4, 2009: Okay, I am just so jealous of Havi Brooks. She has a pirate crew. And even though she was scared to do it, she did it. And that frees her up to be creative and do better work and grow, grow, grow. When I’ve been screaming to myself, “Shrink! Shrink! Shrink! This growing stuff is not worth all the money in the world!” And all because I’m scared of bringing more people onto my ship.
• June 11, 2008: There she goes answering my question. About hiring people. But what about being scared to death of being responsible for someone else’s livelihood? I already take care of two small people and one big one. I already pay nearly all of the bills all while tackling a mountain of debt and refusing to get into more debt and trying to get my house ready to sell (because yes, we may be moving soon).

  Umm…okay. See what she did there? Havi’s so good at building community that I am having a conversation about something totally irrelevant to the point of this analytical experience.

• July 1, 2009: That’s today. And I just love that her Wednesday thing is back.

What we’ve learned

Well, I don’t know what you got out of all of that, but here’s what I got:

• Being an expert isn’t enough. And writing well isn’t enough. Somehow, you’ve got to live your life out loud…and bring it all back to the point of what you do. Yes, you’ve got to be useful. And you’ve got to write your best stuff. But your real life has to come through that somehow.
• Rituals are good. I don’t know why, but they are.
• Consistency is necessary. I still haven’t figured out if it’s critical to write more than once a week. But I think it probably is. Dang it. It all comes back to the pirate crew, seriously. (So jealous!)

My list isn’t finished yet. I’m still processing all of this…this intangible stuff. Trying to make it tangible. Because we don’t need a zillion ghost towns all over the internet. Community is beautiful.

The web is saturated with self-proclaimed gurus and “experts” in every field imaginable. There’s a reason for this — people want to go to the expert. They want advice/services/products from the guy who has driven the hard road and come out the champion. The gal who has found the secret solution to their biggest roadblock.

Whether they know it or not, the first thing your visitor is wondering when they get to your site is “Is this guy legit?” “Does she know what the bones she’s talking about?” “Should I stick around or go somewhere else?”

Answer their question, for Pete’s sake

Obviously, you’re credible. I know that and you know that. But they are still in the dark. Your site’s design and logo obviously have a big part in your perceived credibility, but so does your voice. The things you say (and how you say them) DO matter.

Look at the front page of your website. It should be at least 75% credibility. 75 percent, Jack! If yours isn’t, that should be a big priority.

Things that increase your credibility

• Your picture. “He’s a real person. Slightly funny-looking, but he looks trustworthy. I want to buy from him.”
• Testimonials. “These testimonials look real…not made up or contrived. I want to work with this gal.”
• Concrete numbers that show success. “Wow…they’re now selling their 1 billionth t-shirt. Must be good.”
• Waiting lists. “It sucks that I have to wait. But man, it’s going to be worth it.”
• Name-dropping. “Her grandmother was Marilyn Monroe! No stinking way!”
• Good connections. “He runs in the same circles as those WWDC yuppies. He must know a lot about design and technology.”

Things that decrease your credibility

• Low numbers. “That guy only has 10 subscribers? Cheesy.”
• Weak connections. “Why do I care that she’s in the ‘Mommies Who Clean, Cook, and Do Business At The Same Time’ community?” (Ooooh…that hurts.)
• Trying too hard. “Ick.”
• Too many attempts to get people to do stuff. “‘Share this! Tweet this! Comment here! Vote now! Buy three!’ What do they think I am, their pet monkey?”
• Blandness. “This organization is generic. Nothing new here.”
• Not having cohesive content. “This guy writes about steak knives, ballet, and mariachi bands. What the heck?”
• Self-serving copy. “I can’t find any of the information I need on this site. It’s all about how awesome this person is and how I should buy from them.”

Credibility is one of those things that you can tweak in the teeniest tiniest way and get gigantic results. It’s like taking the veil off of how cool you are. There are enough veiled, muffled voices online — it’s fun to rip it off and let your coolness show. (Also? It pays the bills.)

The best way to become a good writer (even a good copywriter) is to read. But don’t read just anything. In fact, one of my best clients has admitted to going on a reading hiatus from this blog simply because absorbing themselves in my writing got in the way of them developing their own unique writing style. Do what you’ve got to do.

If you’ve got no idea what the “true you” sounds like, consider the type of writing you enjoy. Consider why you connect with that writing. Is it because it’s funny? Intelligent? Down-to-earth? Spiritual?

Of course, I like all kinds of writing for different reasons, and I’m sure you do, too. So if you’re completely lost, read one type of writing style for a week. If after that period, it feels like it could be “you”, start writing drafts of your copy in that style. Trash it if it doesn’t work. Keep it if it feels real.

Now, read

Lumping these sites according to writing style is possibly blasphemous (what do you mean that Naomi of IttyBiz is snarky? She’s the farthest from snarky!), but I’m going to do it anyway. I didn’t cover every writing style, of course. Just the ones I actually read.

Guzzle their writing, friends. Dissect what works and what doesn’t (because there’s always room for improvement, even in the guru-iest among us.) And then emerge with your own unique spin.

Intelligent/Poignant

• Ana Marie Cox – I don’t understand half of what she says, but I feel it makes me smarter somehow. Another big plus — laughing without knowing exactly what I’m laughing at.
• Gwen Bell – Gwen’s long been one of my super heroes. She intelligently tackles social media in a single bound.
• Seth Godin – Everyone loves Seth. My reason: he twists my brain around and gets me over the hump of what everyone else thinks about marketing versus what actually works.
• Mental multivitamin – I hate that she calls herself M-MV, because I have to say it in my head and my brain stutters. Otherwise, it’s a dose I rarely deny myself.

Snarky/Self-deprecating

• Comfort Queen – She bares her soul with all manner of self-directed humor, and we get to watch. Watch and say “Oh yes, that’s me, too.”
• IttyBiz – Naomi, Naomi. I will never leave you, no matter how much you assault my senses with your yelling and debauchery.

Story-telling

• Communicatrix – I sometimes feel like I’m eavesdropping, she’s so promiscuous with the interesting details of her life. Promiscuous in a good, I’m-with-you sort of way. Not a bad, I’m-making-money-telling-secrets-about-everyone-in-my-life sort of way.
• Emma Alvarez Gibson – She’s going in a new direction (I like it!) so I’m not sure if that includes more stories, but I hope it does. She has a knack for it.
• Walk Slowly, Live Wildly – She does good things for the world while she tells her stories. I like that.

Funny, funny, funny

• The Pioneer Woman Cooks – I mainly drool over all the pictures, wish I had time to cook like that, and pine for horses while reading Ree’s stuff. Oh yes, and I spit milk out of my nose laughing.
• Put Things Off – Funny…motivational. Funny…motivational. Dang it, I knew I was going to suck at categorizing these things.
• Smitten Kitchen – I’ve noticed most food people are tremendously funny by nature. Being around food all the time must put them in a perpetually good mood.
• Sparky Firepants – He’s so funny. An added bonus: he also happens to actually know what he’s talking about.
• The Fluent Self – Havi is just so funny and so likable. (How can you not be funny and likable with a duck perched on your shoulder? Also, I don’t like how likable doesn’t have an ‘e’ after the ‘k’. Doesn’t it look like lickable?)

Spiritual/Inspiring

• Desiring God – I like the un-watered down-ness of this guy.
• Heart of Business – Mark’s posts have stopped me in my tracks more than once. He brings me back to the why of working for myself.
• Soul Pancake – Asking the tough questions and then never answering them. (I read it because Dwight from The Office writes it.)
• White Hot Truth – Danielle LaPorte is one of the coolest people on the planet. That is all.
• Zen Is Stupid – I don’t know much about Western Buddhism (except that apparently something is wrong with it), but I like listening to Patrick and Gwen argue. Very spiritual.

Motivational

• Magpie Girl – Rachelle motivates me to do less, which is exactly the kind of motivation I need.
• Mindful Time Management – More about doing less. I love that she blogs sporadically. It makes me feel like it’s the right thing to do.
• Productive Flourishing – After I read Charlie’s blog, I feel gently nudged to a brighter future. (It’s true!)
• Rise of the Innerpreneur – He helps me to experience my work as art. And also to do less (sense a recurring theme here?)
• The Art of Nonconformity – Besides having a killer website, this guy’s writing just keeps getting better. Read 279 Days to Overnight Success. Totally worth it.